


we all have baggage

by nekrateholic



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 20:19:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7402456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekrateholic/pseuds/nekrateholic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jungkook has to defeat Jimin's seven evil exes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we all have baggage

**Author's Note:**

> scott pilgrim vs the world!!  
> a.k.a mostly crack  
> the gloriously uncreative title is the fruit of fifteen minutes scrolling through quotes of the movie on imdb

They don’t meet at dance practice, but they meet through it. Jungkook is at a random party in one of his dance team members’ house and it’s pretty clichéd, but Jungkook’s breath catches in his throat the moment he sees him. He looks bored out of his mind and luckily Jungkook knows the host well enough to know where all the good alcohol is hidden and that doubles as a reason to drag him away to a less crowded place. They end up talking until the sun rises and everybody else is passed out on random pieces of furniture (or the floor). They sneak out before someone wakes up with the intention of cleaning the mess.

*

They’re having a nice dinner date where Jungkook cooked (read: ordered from the place around the corner) when there’s a flash of blue light and a guy comes up and slaps him in the face. Jungkook blinks at him and is just about to ask what his problem is, and how the fuck did he get in, maybe, when the guy slaps him again.

‘You’re supposed to fight back, you dumbass.’ Jungkook blinks some more, because, really?

Jimin clears his throat and when Jungkook turns to him he looks… sheepish. ‘Maybe I should have warned you you have to fight my seven evil exes to date me.’ He stares at the floor, then looks up to meet the guy’s eyes, then Jungkook’s. ‘Meet Jin, my crush in high school. We dated for about four months before he had to move for college.’

‘…What. Your. What.’

Jin huffs ‘Didn’t you get my Instagram message last night?’

Jungkook looks at him incredulously. ‘Dude, nobody uses Instagram messages.’

That earns him another slap but not five seconds later Jin takes one long look at the reddening skin on Jungkook’s cheek and proceeds to mom him into putting ice on it and holding it in place and generally frets over him. They decide to settle the fight with an arm wrestling match, in which Jungkook almost crushes Jin’s hand, his own free hand not moving even a centimeter from its hold on the ice pack.

When Jin leaves, through the door this time, Jungkook flushes the ice down the toilet and settles next to Jimin on the couch.

‘Do I really have to fight six more of your exes to date you?’

Jimin looks apologetic. ‘I’m afraid so. If it’s any consolation, most of them are really nice.’

Jungkook thinks about it for a moment. ‘That means we’re dating though, right?’

‘Yeah, I suppose we are.’

‘And people who date make out, right?’ Jimin laughs at that, calls him an idiot too, but climbs in his lap anyway.

*

The next ex is… Impressive. He shows up in the middle of Jungkook’s dance practice, which means Jimin is nowhere near him right now. Jungkook is pretty sure the guy is a random student coming in late before he produces a giant glowing sword. It says a lot that their dance instructor just rubs her temples and gives them ten.

The second the studio is almost cleared out the ex throws the sword somewhere behind him and grins. It’s rather creepy.

‘I don’t really know what to do with that, I just wanted to make an entrance,’ he shrugs, grin still in place. ‘I’m Hoseok. I met Jimin in a dance class just like this one. We dated for a year, you know.’ He looks almost wistful and Jungkook’s brain chooses that exact moment to notice how incredibly _hot_ Hoseok is. Hoseok seems to notice, because his creepy grin turns into more of a smirk as he gets uncomfortably close in Jungkook’s personal space to whisper ‘I challenge you to a dance off, Jungkookie.’

Then he dances his way to the stereo in the corner, plugs his phone in, and plays what soon turns out to be a playlist of girl group songs.

They get the instructor to be a judge and Hoseok is awesome, okay, but Jungkook is the undisputed king of girl group dances and the result is now Jungkook: 2 and exes: 0.

‘You know,’ Hoseok says as he heads to the exit, ‘I kinda hope you two break up and you join the evil exes league. We could have so much fun.’

Jungkook pointedly does not think about Hoseok’s thighs as he danced to ‘Ice Cream Cake’.

*

The third and fourth exes are… interesting. The third, Namjoon, shows up when Jimin and Jungkook are out in a little hip hop themed club and challenges him to a rap battle. Jungkook doesn’t know much about rap battles but agrees and hopes for the best, because he doesn’t really have a chance.

It’s going relatively okay, considering Jungkook has no idea what he’s doing. The interesting part starts when the fourth ex shows up. Apparently he’s a rapper too, says his name is Yoongi, and promptly joins the battle. Jungkook stands no chance against the two of them, but they don’t unite against him, instead go against each other with twice the determination they had against Jungkook and it takes approximately half an hour for the battle to turn into an extremely explicit mating dance in rap verses. Jungkook stands forgotten in the corner of the little stage for a little longer, then shrugs to himself and returns to Jimin.

‘Does this count as me winning?’ He asks as soon as he plops in Jimin’s lap on the barstool. They nearly topple over, so Jungkook opts for leaning against it instead.

‘Well, none of them seems to be after _your_ ass anymore, so I’d say yes.’

Jimin raises his glass to the stage and downs it in one go.

*

The next ex walks in the library like a normal person and Jungkook normally would’ve never noticed him. Apparently he remembers he has to make some sort of grandiose entrance at some point because he shoots a beam of white light out of his hand in an awful imitation of Iron Man and accidently sets a bookshelf on fire. Jimin drags both him and Jungkook out before the shocked librarian can call the cops on them.

‘I’ve never dated you.’ Jimin states, as they reach the cafeteria.

‘Yeah, about that…’ He rubs the back of his neck. ‘Well, see, you didn’t, but you dated Jaebum and me and my boyfriend have been trying to seduce him for, like, months, and this is the golden opportunity, right? You know how he gets’ Jimin nods at this. ‘I mean, when he’s like that it’s just a matter of word choice and he’s done. Angry sex is the best sex.’ He grins at them and after a few minutes of awkward silence and Jungkook staring expectantly at him, he adds, ‘What?’

‘You never actually said why you’re here instead of this Jaebum.’

The guy looks a bit surprised. ‘I didn’t? Oh, well. Jaebum had a very unfortunate food-related problem. Let’s just say he doesn’t handle spicy food very well. I came in his place. My name is Jackson by the way.’

Jungkook sighs. He can feel the headache forming. ‘So are we going to fight or what?’

‘What?’ Jackson looks confused. ‘Oh, no. I don’t really care what you two do to each other.’ Jungkook almost sighs in relief before Jackson continues. ‘I do need a partner for fencing practice though.’

As it turns out, Jungkook is complete and utter shit at fencing. He gets the footwork pretty quick but fails miserably at everything else. Jackson is still nice enough to pretend Jungkook beat him in the end, though.

*

They’re at Starbucks when the next evil ex shows up.

There’s an explosion of green light and sure, three seconds later there’s a boy trying to look very threatening a few feet from them. He looks about as threatening as an angry kitten. The boy is tall, skinny, his legs look about a mile long and he also looks around Jungkook’s age. Although he can’t really be sure about the last one because Hoseok looked around Jungkook’s age as well and look how that turned out.

Now that the boy is trying to stalk closer and look more threatening (he looks even more like an angry kitten) Jungkook can see he has more eyeliner than Jimin and he could swear he saw those jeans in the girl section of a random brand store last time his friends dragged him to the mall.

‘Are you sure you’re one of the evil exes?’ Jimin giggles beside him and the boy glares at them.

‘We dated for two months you ignorant bastard,’ he spits venomously, and Jimin giggles some more. He leans closer to Jungkook and whispers ‘You could say he’d be my lesbian experiment if I was a girl.’

Meanwhile the boy is right in front of them and still glaring. ‘My name is Bambam and I’m here to take you down.’ He looks Jungkook dead in the eyes and Jungkook is pretty sure that’s the most impressive winged eyeliner he’s ever seen. He briefly wonders if it would be appropriate to ask Bambam for tips.  

Jimin leans to whisper again even though Jungkook is pretty sure Bambam can hear them this close. ‘His name is not actually Bambam. It’s just that nobody actually knows how to pronounce his real one. He’s Thai.’

Bambam’s glare turns to Jimin. ‘Tell him my whole life story, why don’t you.’

Jimin’s smile is radiant. ‘Honey, I couldn’t possibly remember that many brands of clothes.’

Bambam tilts his head, seems to think about it, then shrugs. ‘Anyway.’ He turns back to Jungkook with the angry kitten expression. ‘I am here to challenge you to a duel.’ Jungkook barely bites back a groan because really, another fencer? But then Bambam goes on. ‘…of scrabble.’

Jungkook blinks at him and Jimin looks perfectly okay with the whole situation, as if that’s exactly what he expected to happen. He even takes a wooden scrabble board and a pouch with what is probably the letters out of his messenger bag. Jungkook’s pretty sure he’ll get a whiplash from the way he’s looking between the two of them.

‘Look,’ Bambam says, setting the board on their table. ‘I know how this looks but I did my nails, like, half an hour ago, and my hair an hour before that and no offence Jimin, but our two months really aren’t worth the three hundred bucks I spent at the salon. Besides,’ he adds, ‘I’m great at scrabble.’

Jungkook is a lit major. Jungkook wipes the floor with Bambam in under twenty minutes.

He really hopes the last ex is like Bambam.

*

The last ex is not like Bambam. In fact, the last ex is not like any of the previous ones.

Jungkook realizes this as he finds himself somehow tied to a tree branch upside down. There’s a guy cackling on the ground under him. Hoseok’s creepy grin has nothing against this guy’s entire face.

‘I’ll see you around, Jungkookie,’ he singsongs and leaves. Just leaves, Jungkook still hanging from the goddamn tree. He has a sinking feeling about this one.

‘Oh,’ Jimin says sometime later that day, when the campus security had taken Jungkook down from the tree. It’d been pretty embarrassing. ‘This must be…’ Jimin counts the names of all the previous exes off his fingers. ‘Oh! That’s Taehyung.’ Jimin winces as he says the name and Jungkook’s sinking feeling sinks even further.

‘What’s his problem? I thought you said most of them are really nice.’ Jungkook is not sulking, okay. And even if he was, he was hanging from a goddamn three for half an hour. He has the right to.

‘They are! Really. Taehyung  is just not most of them. We didn’t…’ Jimin trails off, ‘We didn’t really part on good terms.’

Jungkook snorts. ‘No shit.’

Jimin slaps his shoulder.

*

The next time he sees Taehyung he ends up tied again, this time to a street lamp. Jungkook has learned his lesson though, and it takes him about ten minutes but he manages to cut the ropes with the pocket knife he had stashed in his sleeve. Taehyung looks mildly impressed when Jungkook has him pinned and immobilized against that same street lamp.

‘Look,’ Jungkook starts conversationally, his grip on Taehyung not wavering for a second. ‘I really don’t want to fight you and you’re the last one and honestly, I think I am in love with him and I just want some peace and quiet to be the sappy cheeseball I’d never admit he makes me. So, peace?’

Taehyung looks like he’s considering it and Jungkook lets him go. You know, signs of trust and all. The second Taehyung is free, however, Jungkook finds himself being tied to the street lamp once again, this time the pocket knife safely tucked in Taehyung’s belt.

‘That’s so cute. You’ll never beat me, though. I’m-’

No one will ever know what he is, Jungkook thinks, or at least not for a few hours. Jimin lowers his bottle of berry flavored wine with a creepy grin almost rivaling Hoseok’s.

Later, when Jungkook is untied, home and snuggled into Jimin’s side with a mug of wine (because they ran out of glasses and nobody really felt like doing the dishes) Jungkook asks, ‘Is this it? Do we have their blessing now, or whatever?’

Jimin laughs. ‘I wouldn’t go as far as a blessing, but yes. I don’t think Taehyung, or any of them, really, will bother you from now on. I suppose you at least had the right to one cheat in the form of an evil current boyfriend.’ They’re silent for a while, then Jimin speaks up again. ‘I distinctly remember something about a sappy cheeseball being in love with me.’

Jungkook’s ‘I hate you’, muffled against Jimin’s neck is barely audible.


End file.
